Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Taking off my cape

It's time to make a confession - not to you, as it's already painfully obvious to the rest of the world - but to myself.  I'm not a supermom.  Say what?!

I find myself saying something a LOT lately that makes me cringe a bit: "I used to be so put together." or "I never used to be so forgetful/late/frazzled & frumpy." and also "I'm usually so on top of the details."

Why do I feel the need to make this announcement each time I drop the ball (i.e. have the disheveled appearance of a Sunday Comic Strip Mom)? Which is a lot. I'm a bit frazzled, unkempt, overwhelmed, tired-but-sustained-by-energy-drinks, and NOT on top of things ALL the time in recent months.  And that's okay.

Busyness is NOT a Badge of Honor. It does not make me more or less of a person, mother, Christian, etc. Just as my salvation is not based on my works, neither is my value as a human being. This is a revolutionary, life-changing concept for me as a multi-tasking, try-to-do-it-all, Type-A person who loves to people-please and serve.  There are so many great ideas and I just want to put them all into action - take, for example, my 8,000 Pinterest pins.

I can't be the only one TRYING to do it all.  The only one thinking maybe, on a really great day, I may have succeeded. Then feeling disappointed in myself when I realize I didn't.  So I am giving myself - and you, should you need it - permission to take off my Superhero cape. I'm not fooling anyone - I'm no Supermom (although I do have a super God!).  Nope, not even close.

I'm also giving myself permission not to focus on my failures either. {I have to stop here and point out the irony in this post. I intended to make capes for my girlfriends & I to wear at an event we were hosting, but in learning to say no and let some things go, I never got around to sewing the way-cool pleather I bought. I didn't take OFF my cape, I literally never even put one on. That's funny, right?!)

It is in this lightbulb-moment I am remember God tells us to Be Still.  "Be still and know that I am God." [Psalm 46:10] It is in the quiet, NOT the busyness, that I know Him, that I am able to hear Him.

{Here's Baby Brucie and I dressed up for a Superhero-themed event I attended. And yes, I HAVE gotten very fat this year. There's time to deal with that later.}

So if you all can help hold me accountable, that would be fantastic! I've already removed some commitments from my plate (sad as it may be to step out of some things I love and enjoy dearly, it was the right thing to do) AND said no to a project that I knew would cause me stress.  I still, however, am compulsively multi-tasking - and choosing to blog at midnight instead of sleep but hey, one step at a time...