Dan has had to miss work to get the kids to appointments because I have been so crazy sick. He also has not been able to work much overtime because we are so crazy busy I simply cannot accomplish all the packing AND the appointments. He's had to really take on a lot and we are both seriously lacking sleep. That said, it is almost over (moving, that is).
The good news is I thrive under pressure. I work best with the whole procrastinate-then-do-it-all-last-minute thing. So I know it'll all be okay. I lied. I THINK it will all be okay. I mean, if it doesn't all get done, that is pretty much the norm anyhow. I can't ever seem to get it all done. Anyone relate? Yeah, I thought so!
Paid rent for July yesterday and was shocked to realize how little money we have - and how many things we need! (Like trash cans. How are all of our trash cans so gross? What an unexpected thing to have on my shopping list!) I've also been able to get rid of some of the stuff that overtakes our lives and leaves me feeling out of control, which is so freeing!
Spaz was the next to go. Her new forever home is a family that is friends with a Facebook acquaintance. When we checked in with them her kids were thrilled with their new kitty! I am glad she will be well loved and cared for. I am sad though, since she has been in my bed pretty much every night for 13 years. I do miss her.
I was most surprised to find a home for Oliver. He is pretty shy, not declawed, and not much of a snuggler. He does love other animals though. He's spent the week walking around the house meowing loudly, clearly missing Rocky something fierce. He's so sweet but how do you find a home for a kitty that won't cuddle? I've called 5 rescues with no luck. It was a total shock to get an email from a gal that lives just down the street from us (in our current home).
I have discovered even more mold while packing and cleaning here. Pretty sure this is a HUGE factor in our poor health. It is scary to leave this home - I've lived here 11 years (and in this city for 12). I moved a LOT growing up and have been here so much longer than I have ever been anywhere else. We are not going far. We know God is moving us and has given us a provision for a home and a way out of the burden of this house.
The person buying it is gutting and remodeling it. It is a good situation for both parties involved. I am so humbled by this whole process! We have spent years struggling GREATLY to pay our mortgage, while the house falls apart around us and we cannot afford all the repairs. We did not see a way out, with our house so far under water and hope seemed so out of reach.
Now here we are - able to short sale and leave the home without astronomical debt. We now have this TEFRA disability insurance enabling us to get the services our children need without causing extreme financial turmoil. The kids are doing SO WELL and I LOVE having these 3 amazing PCAs in our lives too. It's been so overwhelming for so long that realization that indeed God DOES care and things DO get better and all the hard work really TRULY pays off hit me so hard I was blindsided. All the while that I was struggling to climb this mountain and make it through each days challenges I didn't even realize we are past the top and halfway down the other side!
Why am I surprised to see that God had a plan all along? Of course He does. I'm grateful He's got us under His wings. That is what is carrying me through right now -- The burden on me as the mom is great. The tantrum one of my girls had today was epic. Even her very patient PCA was pretty floored - and at a loss.
I know she is scared about the move, sure, but the level of violence involved in her meltdowns is terrifying. She kept screaming how much she hates chores (I asked the girls to help me pack their bedroom), which is fair, we all do. But to scream, throw things, hit me, and sit on the floor refusing to obey is not okay. At this point there is too much to get done to deal with it. So there I am doing it all alone, while the kids play.
So I am eager for our new life to start, for the transition to be over, and to learn how to be the Mom they need. God cares for all the details of our lives and I am confident He will equip me and comfort her in her fears about all this change.