My first thought: How the heck am I STILL PREGNANT?! In the morning I will be 39 weeks pregnant! Over a week longer than I have EVER made it. We've been expecting his arrival for about 5 weeks now, convinced many times "this is the day."
As much as I'm miserable & uncomfortable, I'm trying to savor these last weeks of pregnancy. I will never be pregnant again. While I will NOT miss the anxiety, weight gain, daily injections, extreme nausea, back and pelvic pain, engorgement, etc. I WILL miss this season of life. I look forward to the next season, of course, but I am suddenly acutely aware that this is the last time I will have a newborn baby.
Pregnancy has been such a major part of my life for 16 years. It honestly has defined who I am. I never had a transition period from child to adult - I went straight from being a Junior in High School to being a Mother. My entire course in life was defined by a pregnancy. I DEEPLY love my husband and children but I'm not sure I would have married my high school boyfriend if I had not been pregnant at 16. I'm glad for that path my life took but it WAS a direct result of pregnancy.
Over the past 16 years I have either been pregnant, recovering from pregnancy, trying to GET pregnant, or mourning a pregnancy loss. I am who I am BECAUSE I am a mother. Because I've lost 11 babies. Because of the difficult nature of my pregnancies.
