Sunday, July 21, 2013

When Mommy Gets A Life

It's a big deal to get time for me - not grocery shopping or Bible Study, but actual "have a blast" time.  I paid big bucks for this concert and have been looking forward to it for months - and it was worth it!  (NKOTB Package Tour) - over 3 hours long - totally got my money worth!!

Getting ready is another story... Nothing makes me feel fatter than trading in my yoga pants for real clothes for the day.  I tried on 11 outfits before finding one that: a)fit over these giant watermelon breasts (nursing makes them crazy big) b)fits over the tub of fat around my belly c)is relatively attractive yet modest (it all comes back to those honkin' big breasts that don't squeeze into anything) and d)I don't look too frumpy in.

Outfit 1: Bruce promptly spit up on.  Outfit 2: Bruce pooped through his outfit onto my shirt. Outfit 3: I sat in the peanut butter sandwich Dean left on my chair. Outfit 4: I wore to the concert.  I felt fat and a bit skanky, but it wasn't sweatpants!!

I feel like life revolves around my breasts these days! I made it 7 hours without nursing or pumping, but boy those bad boys were hurting about 2 hours in! I did manage not to leak and walk around with those embarassing wet spots! :)

I thought since I don't normally wear makeup that it would magically transform me into this crazy beautiful twenty-something.  Instead, I look like a clown.  Seriously, mascara AND silver eye shadow?! I just look stupid.  And concealer? Why bother - I look the exact same as before I put it on!

At least I'm happy with my hair (my girlfriend is a great stylist and did this fabulous ombre dye awhile back, it looks nice)... Any other mamas relate?

So these are the self-depricating thoughts that go through my head whilst making an effort to dress up. Ultimately I felt fat and ugly, but no matter, I had a fabulous time all the same!  I was thisclose to Nick Lachey!! A teenage dream-come-true!

 Snuggling with the boys while getting ready.

 I remembered to squeeze this onto my chubby digit before I left.  In case Donnie Whalberg was confused and thought I was available...